Detective Kagan Dindar

11 years…. Doesn't seem possible.
Seems like a long time…. And yet other days it seems like it was just a couple of months ago.
Iyla is all grown up…. It happened.so fast I can barely get my mind around it.
We both miss you very much.

The emptiness I can’t ignore day in and day out is because of the love I have for you, and because of the love and that filled our lives.
The pain I feel when the reality of you being gone catches up on me, is because even after quite a bit of time, it still doesn’t seem real.
The uneasiness I feel about the future is because I dread planning things and you not being here for them.
The smile that appears on my face when we tell stories about you, is because each time your name is mentioned it brings you back to life for that very moment in time.
The sadness that creeps up on me when Im at certain place or smell a certain scent, my heart skips a beat, it’s a painful ache, because I just wish you were back.
I still need you…..We both do.
The confusion and questions that sometimes catches me by surprise is because I have yet to fully understand why you had to leave. You made the world a better place.
Even though grief is hard….The hardest thing I EVER had to go through,….yet I am honored to grieve you because you are loved.
You still matter.
For others, life goes on…..most have already forgotten about you….
But You will always be remembered by me….
Until my very last breath.

.Jackie
Wife

October 26, 2025